I am simply unable to say this any better than Lewis Caroll's Humpty Dumpty, who said, “'When I use a word,' he said in rather a scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less.'" And he wrote this over a hundred years before anyone ever heard of e-commerce.

In the e-world, acronyms rule. Some have made it into idiomatic language, PC, RAM, MODEM, ISDN, DSL and FAQ. Most never will. The concept of customer service alone is described by over 20 acronyms, *BTC, BTCC, CICS, CRM, CS, CSS, ECR, IM, KM, QOS, QR, SET, T&C, ORD, POS, SCM, SAS, UCR, QA/QC and CSD. And there are 27 other acronyms** of over-complicated terms that relate to e-purchases that serve not only to inveigle the obvious, but doubly obfuscate the most basic ideas and make any real understanding of e-commerce almost impossible to achieve even to the most accomplished businessman.

To make matters worse, some e-jargon contains patently impossible contradictions, oxymoron on steroids, similar to jumbo shrimp (make up your mind). My personal favorite is the Rewritable CD-ROM. We all know that CD means compact disk, but ROM means read-only memory, “read-only” means “can’t be rewritten.” So, then a rewritable CD-ROM would be a what? . . . A rewritable-unrewritable CD? Of course.

Consider what this kind of jargonization can do to the following time-worn joke:

*A BTCC (Business-to-consumer consumer) goes up to a CPE (Customer premises equipment), inputs the ASP (average selling price) for a CPGD (consumer packaged good dispenser) and inputs the ORD (order management system codes) for confectionery CPG (Consumer packaged good). Suddenly the BTCC (Business-to-consumer consumer) hears an IVR (Interactive voice response) that says "nice blouse". The BTCC (Business-to-consumer consumer) scans the POS (point of sale) but can’t access a source IVR (Interactive voice response). Then she hears the IVR (Interactive voice response) again, "nice hat too." She now scans the RDBMS (relational database management system), but still can’t achieve ECR (Efficient consumer response). She immediately consults the FAQ (frequently asked questions) in vain so finally consults, the QA/QC (quality assurance/quality control) personnel at the CSD (consolidated service desk). "I keep hearing this IVR (Interactive voice response) which is saying very nice things but I can’t access the source." The QA/QC (quality assurance/quality control personnel) consults the IMKMD (interactive marketing knowledge management database) and the CSSR (Customer service and support representative) answers, "Oh that's just the peanuts, they're complimentary."

*(translation) This gal goes up to a vending machine, sticks in a buck and punches the buttons for some candy, suddenly she hears this little voice that says "nice blouse." She looks around and doesn't see anybody, but hears the voice again, "Nice hat too,” She looks around again and still doesn't see anybody. So she goes to the store clerk, "I keep hearing these tinny little voices that are saying very nice things but I don't see anyone." "Oh that's just the peanuts,” The clerk says, “they're complimentary."

Use enough e-jargon and even the most familiar tenets of sales and marketing become opaque and foreign. The simple truth is the business of e-business is business as usual. While we can help clients wade through the morass of e-jargon and translate it into something familiar, at SilverHare, we will only speak to you in the language you understand.

*
BTC Business-to-consumer, BTCC Business-to-consumer consumer, CICS Customer Information Control System, CRM Customer relationship management, CS Customer service, CSS Customer service and support, ECR Efficient consumer response, IM Interactive marketing, KM Knowledge management, QOS Quality of service, QR Quick response, SET Secure Electronic Transactions, T&C Terms and conditions, ORD Order management system, POS 1) Point of service and/or 2) Point of sale, SCM Supply chain management, SAS Sales administration system, UCR Usual and customary rates, QA/QC Quality assurance/quality control and CSD Consolidated service desk.

**
API Application programming Interface, ASP Average selling price, AWP 1) Average wholesale price and 2) Any willing provider (legislation), BTB Business-to-business, CPE Customer premises equipment, CPG Consumer packaged good, EDI 1) Electronic data interchange and 2) Electronic funds transfer, EIM Enterprise information management, EFT Electronic Funds Transfer, ERMS 1) E-mail response management system (generic term) and 2) E-mail relationship Management System (Brightware product), FAQ Frequently asked questions, FCS First customer shipment. FFS Fee-for-service, FMV Fair market value, HA High availability, IT Information technology, KQML Knowledge-Based Query Manipulation Language. IVR Interactive voice response, JIT Just in time, MTD Marketing transactions database, EC Electronic commerce, RDBMS Relational database management system, SET Secure Electronic Transactions, TES Technology-enabled selling, HTML Hyertext Markup Language, XHTML Extensible HTML, XML Extensible Markup Language

Click here if you dare for a more complete,
alphabetical list of e-acronyms.